Warn the children! Burritos!

C: Is your air plant still alive?

J: The air plant is still alive.

C: Are you sure it’s alive? Have you fed it?

J: I thought all I had to do was water it? It still looks alive. It travels with me, but I haven’t named it yet.

C: You have to feed it every other day. It eats crawdads, but might be interested in burritos.

J: Seriously?! ……..air plant is dead.

C: You killed it already? Why did you kill the air plant? That’s airplanticide!

J: It shouldn’t have come between me and burritos.

C: I thought you two could bond over burritos.  😦

J: You thought wrong. I have burrito aggression. Oh god. What have I done!?!? Don’t shake a plant! Burritos have turned me into a monster. Tacos are a gateway food! Tell the children so they don’t make the same mistakes! Mankind must learn to coexist with air plants.

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