C: Maybe the shark was just trying to get home and couldn’t afford a cab? Why did people have to mock the shark? I feel bad for the shark.
J: The shark was a scout. They’re just beginning to test our defenses. There’s a possibility they will attempt to use our public transportation against us. Or maybe just the subway tunnels. We never should have made Sharknado. It has only emboldened them.
C: Maybe he was riding the subway home after a long day on wall street. Maybe he was just trying to get home to his family. Now his family has no one to support them. How will they eat?
J: Maybe he should have thought about compassion before becoming a shark, or working on Wall Street.
C: He was just a janitor! He was cleaning up the muck of the actual Wall Street sharks left over at the end of a long day of trading. He was doing the best he could to support a wife and lots of kids who kept eating each other in the womb!
J: Sharks have parasites which clean up after them; they don’t need janitors! It doesn’t even make sense for a shark to be a janitor. Plus, sharks don’t get married.
C: None that you know. Also, there’s a gerbil named Lemmiwinks available for adoption.