M: How do I immediately send a contribution to the Adam Kwasman campaign?
K: Send it ℅ The Frightened Migrant Children.
M: I’ll just send it to the Oracle YMCA.
K: Gotta give the guy credit for using the word “abrogation” correctly, though. He’s no Sarah Palin Tea Partier.
C: Isn’t the YMCA just a cover for bringing more illegal immigrants into our country as part of Obummer’s plot to take over ‘Merica, and his wife getting us to exercise by saying ‘Let’s move‘?
K: Yes, that and to make us all Muslim.
C: Oh, right. That too. Personally, I’d like my first government-issued prayer rug to come in Tea Partier red.
M: I can’t wait for my Rush Limbaugh Rosary®.
C: A Rush Limbaugh Rosary® is the stuff of nightmares. Tons of tiny Rush heads…*shudder*
M: You know those prayer rugs would be sponsored by our friends at Papa John’s, the official pizza sponsor of Christian America, Inc.
K: Worst pizza on the planet. My transplanted-to-Chicago friends love it and are so sad it’s hard to get here. What is WRONG with these people?
M: “For your penance, you must say three Hail Hannity’s and an Our Father Beck.”
C: Even though Manning shleps for Papa John’s, I just can’t with that. Then again, not a fan of Chicago deep dish, but I’ve been told I haven’t had it right.
M: That’s what she said.
K: Those Manning Papa John’s ads are the WORST.
C: “Christian God, grant me the tastebuds to eat this pizza, courage for the bathroom time later, and wisdom to never again.”
M: If that kind of bathroom time requires courage, you can call me Braveheart.
K: Better bring your Rush Rosary® in there.
C: Well that’s gonna require some awkward explanations about the streaks of blue in the bathroom. I’ll be praying on my BoehnerOrange(™) prayer rug.
K: His skin color doesn’t exist in nature.