Pew…pew pew…PEW PEW PEW pew pew

u ewe yew you

Rhymes with…?

J: Yes, men have been bad. But we also get a bum rap.

C: Aw, poor thing. [insert male tears]

J: You’re probably right about Hillary. Do you think she’s on anxiety medication.

C: No.

J: I would be if I was married to Bill.

C: Are you asking these same questions about the OTHER candidates?

J: You know what you don’t hear? Almost every other female in known existence blaming the lack of a strong male role model for their lack of parenting skills. BAM.

C: Now you’re not making sense. Be more clear with your pronouns.

J: And of COURSE I am! You don’t want to know if Ted Cruz is taking any medications?

C: Only if you’re going to ask if Hillary is…

J: And “you” is general for people.

C: Ewe!

J: What if I only asked if Ted Cruz was? Would you consider me possibly sexist for not also asking if Hillary was taking medication?

C: Yew!

J: I’m taking that as a threat!


J: Police: Does she have a weapon?  Me: Pretty sure she has a saw.

C: Hew?

J: See! She’s threatening me!

C: Mew.

J: AND she’s a witch! You’re going to jail for a long, long time. Maybe if you behave, they’ll let you have a garden.

C: Pew! Pew pew pew pew PEW PEW!

J: This is why I worry about you! You’re so naive. Now is the time in the conversation that you should have offered me burritos to keep you out of jail.

C: Screw you.

J: Jesus. At least start with burritos before offering up sex.

C: Pew! Pew pew pew pewpewpew PEW!

J: Oh no! She’s pewing! Take cover! Oh god….I’ve been hit….ahhhh!

C: PEWPEWpewpewpew…pew…pew…pewpew…pew

J: Oh GOD!!! It’s more pews! Hold the lines…

C: Spew you. Adieu.

J: Ciao.

C: That doesn’t even RYHME, Stini!

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