J: Yes, men have been bad. But we also get a bum rap.
C: Aw, poor thing. [insert male tears]
J: You’re probably right about Hillary. Do you think she’s on anxiety medication.
J: I would be if I was married to Bill.
C: Are you asking these same questions about the OTHER candidates?
J: You know what you don’t hear? Almost every other female in known existence blaming the lack of a strong male role model for their lack of parenting skills. BAM.
C: Now you’re not making sense. Be more clear with your pronouns.
J: And of COURSE I am! You don’t want to know if Ted Cruz is taking any medications?
C: Only if you’re going to ask if Hillary is…
J: And “you” is general for people.
J: What if I only asked if Ted Cruz was? Would you consider me possibly sexist for not also asking if Hillary was taking medication?
J: I’m taking that as a threat!
J: Police: Does she have a weapon? Me: Pretty sure she has a saw.
J: See! She’s threatening me!
J: AND she’s a witch! You’re going to jail for a long, long time. Maybe if you behave, they’ll let you have a garden.
C: Pew! Pew pew pew pew PEW PEW!
J: This is why I worry about you! You’re so naive. Now is the time in the conversation that you should have offered me burritos to keep you out of jail.
C: Screw you.
J: Jesus. At least start with burritos before offering up sex.
C: Pew! Pew pew pew pewpewpew PEW!
J: Oh no! She’s pewing! Take cover! Oh god….I’ve been hit….ahhhh!
J: Oh GOD!!! It’s more pews! Hold the lines…
C: Spew you. Adieu.
C: That doesn’t even RYHME, Stini!