Hosting a Going Away Party…for my wisdom teeth


Sorry little buddy, but you gotta go.

C: I’m having a going away party for my wisdom teeth tomorrow.

J: Where are your teeth going? Are you throwing them away?!’

C: I’m having surgery to remove them. [Ex-Boyfriend] was showing me funny videos of people coming out from being under.

J: I like those videos. Crocodile Dundee was one of the better ones.

C: No, I can’t watch any more of those videos. Which one is the Crocodile Dundee one?

J: I forget you’re movie challenged. He comes to New York…from Australia…coming out from being under…

C: Dork. Not the kind of video I was talking about.

J: I know! That’s WHY is funneh. You should keep your teeth after they take them. If you do, you could talk while chewing your food!

C: I totally am! I’m going to make a necklace out of them and tell people they’re the teeth of my enemies.

J: That’s been done before. Glue them to your hand for more realistic hand puppets!

C: Huh. Actually, that’s kind of a good idea.

J: It’d be funny if someone had a permanent marker while you were unconscious.

C: I hate you sometimes. I’m already nervous about saying something stupid while I’m coming out of it.

J: Are you afraid to get drunk because you might say stupid things? Are you afraid of weed because you might say stupid things? Just don’t die and you’ll be fine. I know it’s tough on you, considering your stance on napping*.

C: No. Not really. I’ll try not to die. It’s very tough on me. You could be more sympathetic.

J: Sympathy would only feed the fear.

C: Telling me not to die feeds a fear I didn’t previously have!


J’s inheritance. Does not give a f***…

J: In that case, please include me in you will before you get your teeth out.

C: You’re already in there. You’ll inherit Sheba.

J: I was going to bury Sheba with you like the pharaohs.

C: She will claw her way out and maul you, then make you pet her.

J: We’ll see. I have $10 and 80 lbs of concrete that says otherwise.

C: I have a go fuck yourself for you.

*I don’t like napping. J is a BIG napper.

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