In pursuit of: Happiness?


Behbeh can do it herself.

C: Llama llama? Gerbil kitteh cuttlefish gerbil llama llama gerbil. Blergh.
I need to wash out my brain. Too many things going on in there that I’d like to stop. Why do I have to analyze things? What have you done to me!?!? ?
Argh. Whatever. I can be alone. Behbeh can do it herself. Fuck it.

J: It doesn’t stop.
It can pause, but won’t stop.
All I can tell you is that it will make you greater than you were before
Not that it will make you happy.
The only peace to be found is in the struggle–paradoxical.
Hardly happy.
Meaning: if happiness is what you really want, thinking about things too much will at some point become counter-productive
I will say this. In order to be brave, one must first have fear.

C: Then once you start thinking about things you cannot have happiness? It matters how we think about things. Brave. Maybe. There’s certainly fear. What do we do with it?

J: I think happiness is an illusion, an over simplification. It’s not that you won’t be happy, it’s that you’ll realize happiness doesn’t exist.

C: So what is happiness? How does or does not something exist? What is existence?

J: Yup
If you were happy when you killed an innocent person, would that justify the act ?
So naturally we ask, should feeling happy justify ANY act ?
And then we ask, what DOES justify an act ?
Which, inevitably, leads us to what SHOULD justify an act ?
And therein you will discover your current philosophy in life
Or at least a portion of it

C: Well, I’m not contemplating killing someone.
Can you just talk to him about what commitment means and how that plays out over the course of a lifetime or less? Can you just Stini him?

J: You don’t have to …murder exists. It’s an objective reality. just because you don’t contemplate it doesn’t mean others don’t…our that murder for self interest does not exist.


J: I probably could talk to him. I think you’re the one that wants a relationship with him though. Do you want to understand him and him to understand you ? …or do you just want to be happy? Does avoiding the truth accomplish anything but selfish motives?

C: Yes. I want him to understand me and vice versa. I am also afraid that will lead to the relationship ending, which would be sad. Re: Avoiding truth, mostly no.

rainbow-eyeJ: Would it be sad though? Compared to rainbows and sunshine, maybe, sure. But compared to living a lie for the next decade while you forfeit your freedom just to pretend what you have is what you think you have? –doesn’t sound as sad anymore in that situation. Perspective is often everything
Also, I’m a weirdo. Not sure if I’m the best person for relationship advice.
Maybe I should just say, those muscles don’t lie.

C: Yes, it would be sad. No, not as sad as living a lie for a decade, or lying to myself. So then how do we fund our own truths we can live with, the compromises we can make, and know when we’re lying to ourselves or not?

J: It’s important to say how you feel though. And to communicate that in an EXPLICIT way.

C: I FEEL like crying. How do I explicitly explain what that is? To myself or anyone?

J: Ok. Let’s separate how you feel like you feel like crying from how you feel like how you are processing things from your perspective “our own truths we can live with”—that’s not how truths work, going back to objective reality. The rest, the journey, that’s what it’s all about, figuring that out. In many ways, that’s our purpose.

C: It is! It’s about not deluding ourselves into wanting something that isn’t sustainable. Or I’d that just called changing your mind? What’s the difference?

J: Depends on WHY and HOW we change our minds. it’s really all about the process
Think of it this way. If there is an objective reality, the only reason any of us disagree about it is to one our all of us using a flawed process to analyzes or recognize or what I call process, reality
Jesus Auto assume really ducked me on that last oneClosedDoors

C: I keep thinking of it as zero sum game. Like bad choices now close doors to better options, and am then afraid of making a bad decision.

J: Your problem is in looking at a process as an outcome.
The ONLY decision you are making at this point is to understand.
I understand racism. It doesn’t mean I agree with it or aren’t combating it.
But the first step is always understanding, otherwise we COULD make a mistake we’ll regret.

C: Yeah. Sure.

J: It’s the truth. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe.

C: I know you believe it. Am also not disagreeing. I am resigning

J: If you go into this looking for an outcome, looking to be appeased or pleased or disappointed Then you aren’t trying to understand. And need to rethink your approach.


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