Very, very quite contrary

argument5

“Rabble rabble!”
“Rabble rabble you!”

Note: Parentheses are summaries of long conversations and are also designed to preserve anonymity.

(C: Finding out the other person’s side won’t actually change the circumstances.)

(J: Yes it will.)

(C: No. Besides, I believe this person. Sometimes you just trust someone.)

(J: No. You can’t do that. You have to make sure they’re telling the truth.)

(C: You trust them through life experiences; there’s enough here to establish a clear pattern of truth and trust in people. There may be another side, there’s always two sides, but seeking the other side will hurt the person close to us. I can’t talk about this anymore because it’s upsetting me and I have to go to work.)

J: There is never a time when taking a partisan approach is better. NEVER. The whole reason we do this is because out emotions and judgment can be off, and we’d have no comparison for knowing. I’m not throwing anyone under the bus; ALL I’m suggesting is you don’t accept everything said to you as gospel. That should be enough of a distinction to not make me the bad guy.
The fact that you’re more emotionally upset about it speaks more to the Tea Party not liking Obama than it does to any impartial judgment on your part.
Gossip and rumors are negatives throughout history because of exactly the type of behavior multiple people are demonstrating here. THAT’s why we look to both sides of an issue before taking sides.

C: Longest. Text. Message. Ever.

J: Lol. It said I reached my text message word count limit. Never saw that message before.

C: It came through as a multimedia message, which only happens when I get images. Or, apparently, J rants.

J: It was a clarification, not a Rant. My Rants have been upgraded to include hilarious insults.
A Rant would have likely included an attempt at humor through a metaphor. Like saying how it’s a good idea to put a glass of water at the end of a table because you trust the glass. This example takes all the emotion out of the situation.glass on table 2
But I thought humor was a poor choice considering your response on the phone, and I don’t want to continue upsetting you.

C: “I really don’t want to upset you.” Once again, you have terrible timing and are too late.

J: 😦

C: It might be your superpower…to be too late to things…

J: You actually have a really good point here. I don’t always do things to upset you. Sometimes I know what I’ll say will upset you and I say it anyway. Just know that I do it out of concern and not ego.

C: I know you don’t mean to upset me. But you get too damn stubborn about your approach to processing things being the correct way. When you don’t get flex from me, we reach a point where we can’t agree or move forward.Mocking_Bird_Argument

J: This has nothing to do with my opinion. “Trust but verify” may not be a bumper sticker, but it’s sound logic, not opinion.
Like the “buddy system”…it’s your choice not to follow it. Just know that people who do follow it aren’t the ones who end up cutting off their own arms to free themselves from a rock that was pinning them for days while they survived on urine and waited to starve in the elements.

C: That’s fine.

J: It’s not FINE!!! I don’t want you to drink your own urine! It’s why we have a mandate for health insurance. The reason our government is the best to date is because we factor in distrust into the system itself, checks and balances, because we don’t even understand ourselves!
(We don’t always get lucky.)

C: *sigh*

J: I know. Imagine how I feel. It pains me to be me, but dammit, someone has to do it.

Penguins arguingC: You’ve made it clear how YOU feel! The problem is you don’t care how everyone else actually in the situation feels! Because we don’t feel the way you believe we should! That we aren’t approaching this problem the “right” way, according to you! It’s so frustrating!
But yes, it must be so hard to be you.
And ultimately, I want to REDUCE conflict in my life!

J: I want less conflict in my life too! I just think it’ll require work and effort and thought, and not just a dreamed state being that can exist if we just ignore everything else enough.

C: I may put this on my blog.

J: Well, change the details at least. Lol. Maybe it’ll be a litany of people saying “This J guy is an asshole.”

C: Yeah…well…
If you buy a sofritas burrito at Chipotle on January 26, you get a free burrito the next day.

J: Nice.


Relevant Resources:

Illustrated Book of Bad Arguments

Why We Argue (And How We Should)   (or, a PDF of the first chapter.)

Persuasion Skills.

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