A collection of short stories.
Learning Not to Cry Over Spilled (Sippy Cups of) Milk - Just as I got home, my mom called to tell me the sink was leaking again. She wanted me to ask our neighbor, who is also our plumber, if he could come over and fix it. I crossed the street to find him with his head poked inside the back of his truck while his […]
Things Said While Babysitting - I was hired to watch three kids one Saturday while their parents went to the local Oktoberfest. I supervised my kid best friend, named Kid, his younger brother, Little Brother, and the child of a friend of the parents, Tom. Kid is seven, Little Brother and Tom are both three. During the course of watching […]
Local Controversy - My local library has found itself in the crosshairs of a controversy. The news has reported on it, people have written letters to the editor against it, Board of Trustees members have discussed this issue, and local businesses have gotten involved. It asks the very important question: Should our library have a fireplace?
The Raccoon Incident – Part 1 - I was living alone in a two bedroom bungalow house, in a town where I knew only one person, where I had no job, an ex-boyfriend who wasn’t returning my texts or picking up his stuff, and it was Tuesday night. At 10:30 p.m., I was in my bedroom packing clothes into boxes by season. […]
The Temple of DOOOOOM - For Thanksgiving, we had a small group. Me, boyfriend Carl, mom Liz, bestie Rose, Rose’s husband Don, and their child Daisy, who’s 4. Daisy is a lovely little child who has no problem making friends with anyone. She particularly likes making friends with boys. After dinner (in which Daisy had three helpings of mashed potatoes), […]
Adult’s night out - As an adult, I go on grown-up nights out. And since I don’t have kids, this really isn’t a big deal. I leave my cat, I go out, I come home to pissed off cat. My best friend, however, has a daughter, V. She’s four. She needs a babysitter, something my cat doesn’t require or would even […]
Can I interest you in this thing? It does stuff. - Around Thursday, Little B came out of her room with a full backpack. She went up to her dad and said “We need to talk.” She told him to sit down. “Are you comfortable?” she asked. He was. “Ok,” and Little B began. She proceeded to pull toys out of her backpack and do a […]
Breakfast decisions - About 10:45 this morning, after completing some work online, I thought Hm, maybe it’s time for breakfast. I’ll make eggs with goat cheese on toast. Oh wait. I’m having lunch with former colleagues at noon. I shouldn’t eat now; I won’t be hungry then. But I’m hungry now. I’ll just have a snack. Pretzels? Nah. Too […]
They say it’s your birthday - My niece, Little B, is about 3 1/2 years old. On Wednesday, she went to preschool and told the teacher her birthday was that day. She wasn’t going to have a party that night, but she was having one over the weekend. It was going to be a Frozen themed birthday, with Elsa and a […]
Conversations with my 6-year-old neighbor - I live in a small cul-de-sac where there are a lot of kids. One, in particular, lives across the drive from me, and is a very active, inquisitive guy. Tonight, while his mother cooked dinner and his father fixed our sink, I offered to watch Kid and Little Brother so everyone could get their stuff done […]
Corrupt Polifishians - In which J and I discuss the corrupt polifishians in the system and discuss whether or not the president is even an oceanic citizen.
Tesla test drives & gerbils - I test drive a Tesla and my gerbil comes along.
On Friends and Rodents - As an adult, I do grown-up things like go to work daily, keep up with current events, drink wine with friends, keep up with my family, worry about my credit rating and 401K. All sorts of normal, responsible, adult things. I also have a gerbil. In fact, this is the sixth gerbil I’ve had in […]
$6.55 per gram - Saturday, I noticed that Fidget’s foot was red and swollen. Although this had happened before, this time the swelling was really bad. So…off to the vet. Since we can’t go to her primary care vet on weekends, I took her to a new emergency clinic vet. The vet felt her foot and said that Fidget had […]