Conversations

A repository of in-person and text conversations, as well as other amusing correspondence.
Text conversations are usually with a person named J (also sometimes referred to as Stini).

Sleep tight
My need to sleep hot is questioned when I dream I’m evaporating.

 

Star Trek
In which we discuss my new appreciation for Star Trek against the backdrop of my resistance to watching it when we were dating.

 

The Right to Bare Arms
In which we discuss the finer nuances of arming bears and baring arms.

 

The Worst Roommate Ever: The Sequels
J helps edit and review an article for XOJane, and helps me write the sequels.

Nebraskan Christian Radio
In which I wish J the best of luck as he navigates the many options of radio in Nebraska.

S.H.A.R.K.S.
Shark attacks make J paranoid of more to come.

Needs more pizzazz. No, more pizzas.
J and I discuss whether or not I’m pretentious and what makes good writing.

Heeeeeere fishy fish.
It’s kind of like when you have no idea what’s going on and someone hands you an Otter pop. It’s kind of like when you’re lost, and you make friends with a horse instead. Not like best friends, but you’d grab a drink with that horse.

Learning not to cry over spilled (sippy cups of) milk.
A plumbing problem leads to a learning lesson on the standard operating procedure for sippy cups.

Ger-billamalama
J and I discuss the finer points of llama-titis.

Beware the Puddles: Part 2
The puddles have come back for J.

Beware the Puddles: Part 1
The puddles begin to gang up on J, and he’s all wet about it!

All the Nuance of Meh.
J explains the meh-ning of meh.

.?
I ask J about his comfort level when it comes to menstruating women.

Too sexy?
J wonders about the impact of pursuing a relationship with a young 20-year-old.

On the campaign trail
J and I debate our campaign slogans, platforms, and political strategies when running for office.

All at once…
What would happen if you menstruated all your eggs at one time? It doesn’t sound good.

Very, very  quite contrary
J and I argue. And then we argue about how we argue. And then we argue some more.

We Need a Boat
J and I plan for retirement. Or jobs. Or piracy. Or whatever.

Limbs for Fins!
In which J and I discuss whether or not recent shark attacks are actually retribution for fishing practices.

Inspiration While Watching the Pope’s Homily
After watching the Pope’s homily, J has an idea for how to get women to date him.

Breaking up With The Reminders
I wonder how well I’m dealing with the end of my relationship.

In Pursuit of: Happiness?
J and I dissect my brain’s tendency to overanalyze things, in particular about my current relationship.

Why Do Wisdom Teeth Suddenly Disappear?
After my wisdom teeth come out, J barrages me with a bunch of things I barely remember responding to.

Pew…pew pew…PEW PEW PEW…pew pew
A conversation about politics turns to a an all-out shootout.

Hosting a Going-Away Party for My Wisdom Teeth
I prepare to say goodbye to my wisdom teeth while J tries to make me feel apprehensive.

Jury’s Duties.
J laments the fact he’s never been called up for jury duty.

Letter to Credit Card Company.
In which I ask once again to be removed from their mailing lists.

Who told me that?
Questions to my brother regarding where I learned some information.

Why do things suddenly appear?
My friend Bert and I discuss why it’s weird if anything but birds suddenly appear every time you come around.

Little Baby Dillweed!
In which I offer helpful suggestions for my younger brother’s second child’s name.

Temple of DOOOOOOM.
The time for telling scary stories to 4-year-olds is definitely after Thanksgiving.

Adults night out. 
It’s different than when we were young kids in our 20s.

Dude. 
In which J gives me more grey hairs.

Your mama is so…
In which J and I propose new Yo mama jokes.

Can I interest you in this thing? It does stuff.
One of the best sales pitches ever known.

Ebola dreamin’ 2. 
We further discuss whether or not J has ebola.

Breakfast decisions.
What to eat when you’re hungry now, but will be eating with people sooner rather than later.

They say it’s your birthday.
When is the best time to celebrate your birthday when you’re 3 1/2?

On what makes something a zombie.
Is the overuse of “zombie” as a prefix actually bigotry towards the undead?

Scary Halloween costume.
In which J reveals the scariest costume he can think of.

Ebola dreamin’.
Discussing whether or not J might have ebola.

Conversations with my 6-year-old neighbor.
The neighbor kid and I discuss life questions, like where are my shoes, why I’m not married, and who my (and his) friends really are.

Peyton, please forgive me.
Three cousins discuss illegal immigrants and Obama’s true motives for this country.

Corrupt Polifishians. 
Things get absurd when you cross politics, The Little Mermaid, and Finding Nemo.

Quote? Truism? Meme?
In which we discuss gender stereotyping, and which acts as a preface to Corrupt Polifishians.

Sharks on a subway. 
Is he going home from work, or planning something more sinister?

Nahbre froody voiberously.
Not even sure where to begin to explain this one.

Warn the children! Burritos!
The dangers of gateway tacos and burrito aggression.

GerbilNinja!
Badass gerbil.